EFTA01138716.pdf

From: To: Jeffrey Epstein <[email protected]> Subject: Date: Tue, 05 Jan 2016 10:44:17 +0000 Attachments: IMG 6047.jpg Jeffrey, I was under shock. That moment you told me you would never speak to me again I felt like if I had the whole world falling on me and felt totally abandoned all of a sudden. This horrible feeling was caused because you represent for me a stable rock in my chaotic life. I'm not talking only about the financial part which obviously helped me a lot but more important you turned into a Father, a lover, a mentor, a friend... Everything. I've isolated myself from all the people that surrounded me to follow your directions because spending time with you is what gives me the most happiness. At that moment what else should I have done ? I reacted impulsively because in that instant everything turned black. I know it must be difficult to deal with a 21-year-old's feelings and I understand you can lose your patience. I wish I would have had your wisdom so that I could keep up with you. But I can't. I also thought your promise on the dock was just to shut me up which made me even more sad... and that was even more painful. When I lied to u it was always the consequence of my reckless acts. The reason I lie is when I'm scared to deal with the truth so I make up stories trying to get around your imminent anger or deception. Obviously it never works and gets even worse later--"lies have short legs"--but this doesn't make me a bad person because it's never done in a mean way. Values are extremely important to me and loyalty is the one I would never give up for anything. The fact that I lied doesn't take away my values and the fact that I will always be loyal to you. You told me once you will always be there for me just like I will always be there for you... Yes, always. Also when you will get older I will be there for you and that is a promise that I will keep no matter what happens... because I care. I really do. I know that I've let you down so many times, but never so much as I let myself down. However, experiencing failure is the only way for me to learn and understand how to do things right. My moods are very unstable and when I'm down I feel paralyzed, closing myself in loneliness... I wish I could change. Maybe speaking with I psychologist would be helpful. The reason I want to go to school is that my mother never got a diploma and this is one of her biggest regrets. She couldn't find a job later on also because of this... Unlike you, she had no particular talent to make it without one and until now I haven't discovered any in myself either. For this reason getting a degree would give me additional security. You told me I need to find a part time job by mid-February and I think it's a good idea. I already started asking around for anything available and asked for help on my cv. As you know nobody of my family ever worked so I don't have any good examples to follow when it comes to all of this...Until I get a real position somewhere, I really would like to continue my studies. The other reason is that unlike the US, here in Europe everything is more difficult , people are closed minded and the mentality is different which makes it even harder to make it without one. EFTA01138716 I'm starting to get to know myself a little more now and I know that for me it takes longer to assimilate and make things work but at the end I do make it... It is a question of time and getting all the parts together. Jeffrey, I am extremely grateful for your help. I've realized that I've put my life in your hands... and I know or at least I hope that one day you will be proud of me. Ps: I'm trying to get my grades to send them to you but I don't know why they don't show up. I know they are very bad and that this will be an additional big deception... Now I know and will do everything I can to make it right next time. I won't let you down. please note The information contained in this communication is confidential, may be attorney-client privileged, may constitute inside information, and is intended only for the use of the addressee. It is the property of Unauthorized use, disclosure or copying of this communication or any part thereof is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful. If you have received this communication in error, please notify us immediately by return e-mail or by e-mail to and destroy this communication and all copies thereof, including all attachments. copyright -all rights reserved EFTA01138717