📄 Extracted Text (425 words)
To:
From: "G. Max"
Subject Fwd: (no subject)
I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women
differ
so much. I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And I
never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart. Also, I never have figured out how sexual desire gets thrown into a
state of turmoil when it hears the words, "I do."
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she then says, "I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT?!"
So she says the words that I and every other husband on the planet dread.
She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a
woman.
I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized that nothing
is going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.
The very next day we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store...
I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of
them.
She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I
say, "OK." And then we go to the jewelry department where she gets a set
of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was so excited! She must have
thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she
cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet
because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when
told her that it was OK.
She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen
her face when she said, "I'm ready; let's go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel
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like buying all this stuff now."
You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank. I then said,
"Really, honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." Just when
she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be
in tune with my financial needs as a man."
I figure that I might be having sex again sometime during the Spring thaw
of 2003.
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