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74 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage Massage is all about making you feel comfortable in your own skin, and the last thing you want is to have a language barrier make you feel uncomfortable before you even begin. Words you don't know can make you feel like an out- sider, which may have the tragic consequence of keeping you from doing what you really want to do when you get a massage — relax and feel better. Your goal may be to become one of those knowledgeable clients who enters a massage clinic and requests "a bit of cranio-sacral for this headache I've had for two days now, and then some Trager in the hip area to loosen my tight psoas, and throw in some trigger point work on my traps, will you?" Or, on the other hand, perhaps this massage mumbo-jumbo seems completely pointless to you, and all you really want to do is lie down and get rubbed. Even if you belong to the latter group, knowing at least a few of the terms that massage therapists (and those who receive massage) commonly employ is helpful. This section is a primer on massage lingo to help familiarize you with the terms you may run into when you ✓ Contact a massage professional to inquire about rates, services, and so on ✓ Visit a massage clinic ✓ Read journals, magazines, or books in the field ✓ Attempt to explain massage to a friend ✓ Ask people to recommend a massage therapist or style for you Table 5-1 lists several specialized massage words and phrases that at first glance seem deceptively like everyday words and phrases. But don't be deceived. These words, when used in regards to massage, are highly specific and, when used correctly, can lead you to hours and hours of enjoyment, health benefits, and pleasure. Table 5-1 Massage-English, English-Massage Dictionary Word Non-massage definition Massage definition Rolled Past-tense of "to throw up Deep massage work on on," a variant spelling of connective tissues that "Ralphed" realign the body with gravity Bodyworker Mechanic specializing in A practitioner of massage repairing cars after or similar hands-on healing accidents techniques EFTA01721197  Chapter 5: A Massage Road Map 75 Word Non-massage definition Massage definition Structural work Carpentry, mostly done on Massage that works on house frames the body's muscles and connective tissues to better align them with gravity Spa Hot tub or Jacuzzi Health facility where people go to learn holistic practices, eat healthy foods, exercise, and receive massages and spa treatments Ayurveda Misspelling of a famous An ancient healing system brand of natural beauty from India that uses diet, products found in salons meditation, herbs, and massage to balance the body Swedish Anything from the country The most well-known and of Sweden widely practiced form of massage in the Western world, consisting of stroking, kneading, apply- ing pressure, stretching, and so on Trigger point The fine, pointed end of a A tight, tender spot in a pistol's trigger muscle that responds well to massage Connective tissues Kleenex brand facial tissues The web of tissue all linked together in a box (primarily collagen fibers) that surrounds your every muscle, organ, and bone, holding your body together Deep tissue Kleenex stuck deep between A type of massage that the cushions on your couch targets the deeper layers of muscle and connective tissue Energy work Repairs on the electrical Type of massage that lines of your house focuses on vital, invisible energies in your body (continued) EFTA01721198 76 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage Table 5-1 (continued) Word Non-manage definition Massage definition Adhesion The sticky mark left on your Muscle and connective skin after removing an tissue fibers that are stuck adhesive bandage together because of injuries, scars, aging, and lack of movement. Massage can help sepa- rate most adhesions, which are sometimes painful, though not usually dangerous. Drape Decorative material that Towels, sheets, and so on, hangs in front of a window used to cover a person receiving a massage Knots Things tied in ropes Tight bands of muscle fibers and connective tis- sues that massage often softens On-site massage Massage given at Seated and clothed construction sites massage given in special chairs — usually in offices, in stores, or at spe- cial events EFTA01721199  Chapter 5: A Massage Road Map 77 Bon jour, monsieur masseuse You walk into a health club and sign up fora use French words to describe the movements of massage. A big, burly, bodybuilder of a man massage, and even the word "massage" itself. walks out, shakes your hand in his massive paw, The words for someone who performs massage and tells you his name is John. therefore come from the French also: "Nice to meet you," you say, slightly awed. V A masseur is a male practitioner of "How long have you been a masseuse?" massage. "I'm not a masseuse!" he thunders, causing you ✓ A masseuse is a female practitioner. to shake in your sneakers. And once again you have thatterrible realization that you've flubbed An easy way for you to remember the correct term is to think of monsieur —the French word up the whole masseur/masseuse thing. for Mr. —which sounds like masseur. And an "Sorry," you stammer, confused and embar- even easier method is to avoid the rassed, but inside you're also a little mad. How masseur/masseuse dilemma altogether by are you supposed to remember the difference using the more modern, non-gender-based term between those silly French words, and who "massage therapist" for males and females made them.up in the firstplace anyway? alike, which is what most professionals prefer, Strangely enough, it was a Dutch man, Dr. anyway. Johann Mezger (1839-1909), who decided to EFTA01721200 78 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage EFTA01721201  Chapter 6 Look Who's Coming to Touch You 00000•0•00000000000000•00000000•0000 0 00 0 0 00000 000 In This Chapter p. Stalking the elusive referral p. Locating a massage therapist D Developing a relationship with your massage therapist D Deciding whether licensing matters OOOOOOOOOOOO ••00 9•0000•00000000•0 0 0 00000 000•000•0 y ou're no doubt absolutely convinced that massage would make a truly superb addition to your life, and you're just about ready to pick up that phone (yes, that one, right over there), dial one of the contact numbers I'm about to give you in this chapter, and order up your very first session of "touch take-out." Soon, a chipper and thoroughly professional person will show up at your door carrying a monstrous padded folding table. He or she will open the table in the privacy of your own comfortable dwelling. You'll smile self-confidently, take all your clothes off, and then ... wait a minute! Did I say, "Take all your clothes off?" Well, by golly, I guess I did. Suddenly, this whole, wonderfully abstract concept of massage has become disconcert- ingly real. And, in spite of your appreciation for the undeniably therapeutic benefits of massage, if that professional stranger were to ring your doorbell right this minute, you may be tempted to say, "Excuse me for a moment, will you? I just have to go get my law degree at Columbia University and then I'll be right with you." If that sounds like you, don't worry. This chapter's purpose Is to make you more comfortable with the people who will be massaging you, including people you already know, with whom sharing massage will be a new adventure. Stalking the Elusive Referral One time-honored concept used to battle your fear of a stranger in your home is to assure that the person who shows up on your doorstep to give you a massage is not a stranger. You can accomplish this goal In two ways: EFTA01721202 SO Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage ✓ Give your cousin Billy several thousand dollars and send him through 0 massage school so you can call him later and make an appointment. ✓ Get a referral. The second option is by far the more common choice, but that doesn't mean you should entirely dismiss the concept of financing massage school for friends or family members. The world needs more massage therapists! If you happen to be extremely wealthy, do the world a favor and set up a massage- school trust fund. (The investment may even be tax deductible.) A six-point mental checklist (to go over in your mind before deciding which massage therapist to try) No matter how qualified and highly recom- 3. Is she someone you'd like to emulate as far mended a massage therapist may come to you, as calmness and tranquility go? Like it or not, and no matter what other people say about her, you will probably look upon your massage you still must decide whether she's the right therapist as a role model in the relaxation massage therapist for you. Remember, you're category. A tense, uptight massage therapist very likely to share a great deal of yourself with isn't setting a good example. this person (massage therapists are like hair 4. Is she "soft" where she needs to be soft dressers on steroids when it comes to the con- (unobtrusive and non-opinionated) and fiding-in factor). And, because your massage "hard" where she needs to be hard (unre- therapist will get to know your body better than lenting in her serious desire to see you feel anyone else except an intimate partner, you better)? have to be willing to trust her. Sometimes, you have no precise way to gauge which massage 5. Is she someone you feel an immediate therapist will make precisely the best "fit" with sense of empathy with? To use a precise sci- your personality, and no amount of analytical entific term here, do the two of you click? deliberation will help you decide who to choose. 6. Is she the right sex? The decision on That said, try using this quick checklist to judge whether to receive massage from a male or your own gut reaction to the person you're about female massage therapist is entirely up to to spend a considerable amount of quality time you. Many people have no preference, as with: long as the massage therapist is competent and strong, but others feel more comfortable 1. Does she immediately make you feel like with one sex than the other in a massage you're important? setting. Most massage establishments will 2. Does shelook you right in the eye and fill you give you a choice when requesting a mas- with a sense of utter confidence so that sage therapist After you get started with the you're already feeling better before she actual massage, you'll probablyfind that the even touches you? massage therapist's gender doesn't really matter as much as you may have thought EFTA01721203  Chapter 6: Look Who's Coming to Touch You Of course, you may be more comfortable going to the "neutral ground" of a professional massage establishment rather than inviting someone unknown into your home. See the section "Visiting a clinic" later in this chapter for more information. In case you're wondering who to ask for a referral without embarrassing yourself, the following list may come in handy. Actually, you may be sur- prised at how many people can potentially help you find a massage therapist. First, you probably should NOT ask certain people to refer a massage thera- pist, including ... ✓ Certain physicians who are not aware of the benefits of massage and who may think that all massage therapists are "quacks." ✓ Your Aunt Gertrude who had a massage once on a cruise and now con- siders herself an expert. ✓ People who are currently under indictment for health-care fraud. After you cross those sources off your list, you can still find plenty of helpful folks ready to steer you towards the nearest pair of helping hands. Some of those places where you're most likely to get a good referral from include .. . ✓ The contact numbers at major massage associations and accrediting organizations (see the section "Organizations That Can Help You Find a Massage Therapist" later in this chapter). ✓ Enlightened physicians who are aware of the benefits of massage and who are more than happy to refer you to the ones they work with. In fact, many doctors these days have a massage therapist or two on staff. ✓ Athlete friends who receive massage as part of their training. ✓ A co-worker or family member who's had a particularly good experience with the massage therapist she's been using for an extended period of time. ✓ The "best-of" articles that health and beauty magazines such as Shape, Self, Mademoiselle, Glamour, and so on often feature. ✓ Your friend Tina, the one who wears the Birkenstock sandals all the time and has that look of blissed-out satisfaction on her face even when she's standing in line at the grocery store checkout counter. EFTA01721204 82 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage Getting a Helping Hand You can collectively refer to the four numbers I'm about to give you as "mas- sage central." Among them you'll find the contact information for over 80,000 qualified massage therapists in the U.S. right at your fingertips. Drum roll please ... and the contact numbers are: ✓ To find a massage therapist who is a member of the oldest nationwide organization, the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA), call toll free, 888-843-2682, for their Find-A-Massage•Therapistcm Location Service. ✓ To find the nearest member of Associated Bodywork and Massage Professionals (ABMP), call 800-458-2267. ✓ To find a member massage therapist of the International Massage Association (IMA), call 202-387-6555. ✓ For a list of massage therapists who have taken the test given by the National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork (NCBTMB) and are therefore Nationally Certified in all 50 U.S. states, call 703-610-9015. Of course, among those 80,000* massage therapists, you're going to find quite a range of skills and offerings, and there isn't one, single tried-and-true means of prequalifying someone. However, you are living in an extremely lucky time, oh fortunate massage recipient, because in the past several years the number of highly skilled and fully trained massage pros has grown at an amazing rate all around the world. Following Is a list of contact numbers for professional massage practitioners in several countries: ✓ Australia: Massage Australia, Sydney, tel. (02) 4757 3050 ✓ France: French Federation of Masseurs Kinesitherapeutes (FFMKR), Paris, tel. 01 44 83 46 00 ✓ Italy: Federazione Nazionale del Collegi del Massofisioterapisti (F.N.C.M.), Rome, tel. 03 94 61 915 499 ✓ U.K.: The Institute for Complementary Medicine, London, tel. 00 44 171 237-5165 Locating a Massage Therapist If for some reason you can't locate a massage therapist by simply calling one of the numbers listed previously, you can pursue several other avenues in quest of massage. EFTA01721205  Chapter 6: Look Who's Coming to Touch You 53 Checking the ads Each locale has its own regulations regarding the advertising of massage, and sometimes the regulations vary from city to city. What may be perfectly legal in Los Angeles, for example, can be verboten in Sioux City, Iowa. Beware those ads featuring massage therapists with huge muscles, wearing black leather vests with no shirt underneath, staring straight into the camera with a come-hither look in their eyes, especially in San Francisco. These pictures may be a clue tipping you off to the extra curricular intentions of this particular massage therapist, licensed or not. Then again, it could be a fashion statement. Letting your fingers do the walking ,t oPINtoip In some areas, massage therapists must include an official massage license number as part of any Yellow Pages listing for massage. According to Dan Ulrich, past president of the Florida State Massage Therapy Association, the inclusion of the license number in Yellow Pages and other ads significantly reduced the amount of unethical massage advertising. Although the license number is not mandatory everywhere, it's a clue that you're dealing with a therapeutic professional. If you don't see a license number or some other professional credentials listed, call and ask for one. Opening the bureau door You may occasionally run into ads for massage service bureaus that guaran- tee you a massage within a specified period of time (usually within a couple hours). The bureaus have a central number that you call, and they send one of the many independent massage therapists on their list out to you at your choice of location. Quite often, these are very up-and-up enterprises run by entrepreneurial massage therapists who have discovered a new way to multi- ply their effectiveness and their income. At times, though, the quality of the services offered can be a little iffy, because all the massage therapists aren't carefully screened all the time in all the bureaus. So, If you're not personally familiar with the service, and you haven't received a specific recommenda- tion, you're never sure exactly what you're going to get when you call one of these places. Bureaus are most useful when you're traveling and have no other means of contacting a massage therapist. EFTA01721206 54 Part II: The Ad of Receiving Massage Getting the most massage for your money When dealing with your massage therapist, cer- ✓ Ask for a massage in exchange for refer- tain tactics can increase happiness for bothof ring a new client to your massage you, and in the process, maximize the value you therapist She will appreciate the new cus- receive from your experience. tomer, and you deserve the recognition. ✓ Offer to pay up front for a discounted series ✓ Inquire about rates for longer massage ses- of massages: For example, if the massage sions: Often the price drops proportionally therapist charges $50 for a massage, offer with the length of the massage, and you can $400 dollars for 10.massages. Often, mas- receive a 90- minute massage for not too sage therapists appreciate the immediate much more.than a 60- minute massage. A cash flow and the guarantee of ongoing massage therapist who charges $50 for an business. This arrangement is good for their hour massage may offer an hour and a half business, and good for your pocketbook. massage for $65 or $70, for example. Going back to school Wherever you are, one excellent way to get in touch with a massage practitioner Is to call a massage school in your area. There are more schools around than you think— the U.S. alone has over 800. Look in the phone book, under "voca- tional schools" or "schools, massage therapy." The schools often have a list of graduates In the area that they can recommend, and quite often they offer mas- sage services in a clinic in the school. One excellent deal that many people take advantage of Is known as the student massage clinic in this setup, the students receive part of their training by working on real massage customers, under supervision, of course. Student massages go for only fraction of the normal cost, usually only X to Si the going rate of a professional massage in the area. More often than not, the students are already quite good at what they do, and dollar for dollar this option is one of the best bargains in massage. Keep in mind that you may be asked to fill out a detailed feedback form after the massage, for training purposes. Also, the student clinics usually take place in a big room with curtains separating the massage tables. Quite often, an instructor stops in to observe the student in action. So If you're a super- private individual who doesn't like to have other people around when you're getting a massage, the student clinic is probably not for you. Also, If you have a specific health problem that you'd like to address with massage, it's best to visit a licensed professional. For relaxation and stress relief, though, student massages are usually as effective as more expensive professional massages because the students are trying extra hard to please you (and pass their coursework at the same time!). EFTA01721207  Chapter 6: Look Who's Coming to Touch You 55 Pampering Your Massage Therapist After you choose a massage therapist and begin to develop a working rela- tionship with him, a few endearing personality quirks may begin to surface. Some massage therapists work barefoot, even in the winter, for example. Others hold a giant quartz crystal over your body before the massage. And some tape a bunch of magnets under their massage table to "align your energy" while they work on you. Try not to take your massage therapist's idiosyncrasies too seriously. They're just trying to do the best job they can. It's just that some of their methods may seem a little, um, colorful at first. Refer to rule # 9, "You're the boss," in Chapter 7 for advice on letting your massage therapist know what you're comfortable and what you're not comfortable with. As a general rule, massage therapists are a finicky and extremely sensitive lot. They're somewhat like pure-bred cats, and although their job description calls for a great deal of touching, they also need to receive strokes them- selves (often to that most delicate muscle, the ego). If you become an expert at scratching behind the ears of your massage therapist's self-image, you can coax a better performance from him, and your relationship will be a happier one all around. The following are some simple points to remember whenever you're dealing directly with your massage therapist: ✓ Always offer encouragement first before you criticize: For example, if your massage therapist is applying a little too much pressure in a partic- ular area, definitely let her know about it, but first say something like, "What you were doing a minute ago felt really great. You can lighten up the pressure a little right now, though." ✓ Always, always, always praise the massage your therapist just gave you immediately after you receive it, even if this is the seven hundred and eighty-ninth massage you've received from her. The immediate gratifi- cation of this simple act is powerful. It's the same reason all an actress's friends rush backstage after the play to heartily laud her skills. The ego muscle Is most delicate directly after the big performance, and for a great massage therapist, every massage is a type of performance. ✓ Always communicate clearly about exactly what fee you expect to pay for exactly which services: Pricing of massage services may be a sensitive issue. Be clear on the answers to the following questions before you begin: • Is the charge for an hour and fifteen minute massage higher than that for an hour massage? • Does the massage therapist have a cancellation policy? • Does your massage therapist reimburse insurance claims? EFTA01721208 86 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage Licensing Touch Being a wise consumer, when you head out looking for a massage pro to rub you the right way, you'll want to ask yourself that all-important question: Is she licensed? The problem here is that not all good, professional massage therapists In all areas are licensed. In the U.S., only half the states even require licensing for massage. Some states require no license at all, and in others the licensing is county-by-county or city-by-city So even someone who is very highly trained and takes her Job very seriously may be license-less, through no fault of her own. Internationally, licensing rules for massage therapists vary widely from coun- try to country. Some countries, like Singapore, for example, have little or no regulation, while in other countries, like France, massage therapists are part of the medical community and operate out of their own medical clinics. The best course of action in foreign countries is to ask someone you trust to rec- ommend massage. Also, you can read through Chapter 17 for some more suggestions. The rules concerning massage licensing are too complex and changeable to list here. They differ from area to area and time to time. In fact, in Santa Monica, California, where I first started working as a massage therapist, the actual laws on the books stated that nobody could open a massage clinic within 500 feet of a church, and in order to receive your city license to prac- tice, you had to take a test certifying that you were free of all venereal diseases. Go figure. If you want information about how massage practitioners are licensed in your area, you can call the board or department in your state that regulates mas- sage therapists. If there is no such regulating board, check with a local massage school to see what kind of education and certification is normal for practitioners in your area. The best thing to do when you're trying to determine the professional status of any individual massage therapist Is to ask the therapist. I know, this strat- egy is stunningly simple, but it works. If she doesn't know anything about licensing, you may have an unprofessional person on your hands. On the other hand, if she knows her stuff, she can tell you exactly who to call or where to look to verify local licensing requirements in general, and hers in particular. Because this whole licensing issue is so confusing in many areas, you're wise to consider certification as an equally, if not more, important factor in deter- mining who to choose as your massage therapist. EFTA01721209  Chapter 6: Look Who's Coming to Touch You 57 Original sin? Some massage therapists think that requiring control or regulation. They often live in cabins in licensing for massage is almost sinful, because rugged-individualist states such as Vermont, they perceive what they do as art. They figure which, as an interesting side-note that has that licensing massage is like licensing a painter absolutely nothing to do with massage, is the to paint, or a writer to write. Ridiculous! These only state that has managed to keep out people thoroughly oppose any attempts at Wal-Mart stores. If a massage therapist has graduated from a bona-fide massage school, he has received a certificate of completion, and this certificate often notes the number of hours completed, specialties studied, and other relevant informa- tion. This certification may be the single most substantial piece of evidence of a massage therapist's dedication to his craft, especially in those areas where licensing is not required. Another type of certification is awarded to those massage therapists who complete a test given by a certification board, such as the National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork (NCBTMB). This certification is another way of determining competency. Remember, in massage, just as in a marriage, it's not the actual piece of paper, but the level of commitment on the participants' part that Is most vital to the success of the relationship. A fancy, gold-embossed massage license hanging on the wall in a frame is no guarantee that you're going to like a given massage therapist's technique. And, on the other hand, someone with no certificate or license at all may be one of the most highly skilled massage therapists you'll ever meet. When it comes down to choosing a pro, go with your heart and your intuition. EFTA01721210 SS Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage _ EFTA01721211  Chapter 7 The Rules for Receiving Massage 0000000000000000000000000000000 0 000G• 00000•0000 0 In This Chapter D Following guidelines for receiving a massage j;), Getting in tune and staying in touch F rom the day you were born, your body has been hanging around you like a shadow. It never leaves you alone. You wake up in the morning, and there your body is, faithful as a puppy, thumping its little tail against your freshly washed bedspread. At first, having a body is a novelty, a fact that you can see reflected in the faces of babies and small children. Even the most mundane details about their bodies fill them with delight. "Oh boy, there's my hand again!" As you mature, however, you become more accustomed to having a body, and it begins to bore you. This boredom usually occurs as young people enter their teenage years. "Oh boy, my hand again, big deal." At this point, they begin to pierce their bodies in various locations and cover them with decorative tattoos. By the time people are full-fledged adults, though, most of them have begun to concentrate on other things, leaving their bodies far behind. The only time they really get connected to their bodies is when they're learning a new skill of some kind, like soccer, or neurosurgery. The result? Most people take their bodies for granted. One of massage's main objectives is to get you back "into" your body again. A good massage should rekindle your childlike enthusiasm for life. In order for massage to help you achieve the lofty goal of getting back in touch with yourself, you need to follow certain guidelines, which I Just happen to outline in this chapter. At first, some of these "rules" may seem a little simplistic to you. Others may appear irrelevant. However, I give you my personal guarantee that if you try them out when you're on the receiving end of a massage, you're going to get much more out of the experience. So, approach these guidelines with an open mind, apply them when you feel that doing so is appropriate during your own massage exchanges, and watch your enjoyment of massage soar to levels beyond your expectations. EFTA01721212 90 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage The rules for receiving massage are, in fact, quite similar to the Ancient Secrets of Life as passed down by Big Important Spiritual Leaders for thou- sands of years. Yes, it's true; you can learn every really important thing in life by lying down and getting rubbed. Honing your skills at receiving massage is more than simply a way to feel better. It's also a way to improve your life. Read through these rules, practice them, and you'll see what I mean. Rule #1: Keep Breathing When you receive a massage from a professional, she may remind you sev- eral times in a soft, soothing voice to breathe. And you may be tempted to say right back to her in a not-so-soothing voice, "I'm already breathing, in case you haven't noticed." Don't be offended. The massage therapist's comments aren't meant to imply that she thinks you're deceased, and she's not trying to insult you for your poor breathing skills. In fact, many massage therapists start each and every massage with a series of deep breaths, regardless of how obviously alive you are to begin with. A massage therapist may tell you to take deep breaths during a massage for the following reasons: ✓ To help you focus on the sensations you're feeling in your body rather than the internal monologue going on in your mind ✓ To get you to fill your lungs and thus all your cells with fresh oxygen, enlivening your entire body ✓ To help you become aware of muscles that you've been holding tense so you can start to relax them Most people walk around not actually breathing much. People tend to use only a tiny percentage of their lung capacity, just like they use only a tiny per- centage of their brain capacity. Proper breathing changes that. While receiving a massage, focus your mind as fully as possible upon the very important act of breathing. Focusing your mind on your breath brings your awareness back to your body quicker than anything else. EFTA01721213  Chapter 7: The Rules for Receiving Massage 91 Going with the diaphragm's flow The diaphragm is a muscle in your abdomen — it looks like a soft pizza shaped into a double-headed dome — that Is responsible for keeping you breathing (see Figure 7-1). Most of the time, your diaphragm is contracting and relaxing without conscious thought from you, but you can teach yourself to control this activity. In the section "Exercising your breathing muscle's breath," I give you an exercise that helps you use this muscle more con- sciously, which enables you to exert more control over your breathing, making it fuller and deeper. Figure 7-1: The diaphram and other elements of your respiratory system. EFTA01721214 92 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage Exercising your breathing muscles The next time you have the chance, spend a few minutes observing a sleep- ing — or at least relaxed — infant or toddler breathe. Pay close attention to the abdomen, and you can see the entire area gently lift and lower. This movement is the result of an active, uninhibited diaphragm at work. Then look down at your own abdomen while you breathe for a few minutes. Notice a difference? Where did all the lifting and lowering go? You still have the same breathing mechanisms you always did; they're not something you grow out of. With each breath you take, you should indeed have a visibly rhythmical, moving body. Somewhere along the line, though, most people stifle themselves into taking shallow, insufficient breaths. This type of breath- ing is a common reaction to the act of growing older. Don't worry, you're still getting enough oxygen to survive. But, are you getting enough to thrive? By practicing deep breathing during massage, you can literally rejuvenate your body, sending extra-oxygenated blood out all the way to your toes. The key to breathing properly while getting a massage is to take whole breaths, a term that basically means "breathing like a kid." Go ahead and try a whole breath now. Lie down on your back, placing your palms gently on your abdomen, and then begin this four-step process: 1. Breathe deep and low into your lungs so that your abdomen pushes your hands upward. Make sure that you're not just pushing up with your stomach muscles, but that you're actually expanding the entire abdominal area. 2. Continue the expansion up into your ribs, allowing them to push out- ward toward each side. 3. When your ribs have expanded out as far as they'll go, then expand them up toward your head, taking the last bit of breath into the area just beneath your collar bones. 4. Let the whole thing collapse. You don't need to try and push the air out; just let it flow. When your lungs feel empty and your abdomen is flat once again, you can restart the process. Rule #2: Stay Loose As you probably know, one of the main points of getting a massage is to relax. Logically, you may then think that you can just give your body to a massage therapist who will relax your body for you, like giving your car to a mechanic and expecting him to fix it. EFTA01721215  Chapter 7: The Rules for Receiving Massage 93 Please release me, let me go ... After you receive several massages, you'll grad- your muscle fibers, and you'll feel it beginning ually become accustomed to relaxing your own to tighten up. Then, silently, without anyone muscles. Eventually you notice that you can do noticing, you send a mental message to the the same thing even when you're not receiving growing knot, telling it to go away, in the same massage, like when you're waiting in line at the way that your massage therapist helps you do grocery store, stuck in traffic, or sitting in a during a massage. You can take this side bene- meeting with your boss. "Twang," will go one of fit of massage with you wherever you go. Expecting a massage therapist to do all your body's relaxing is called giving up responsibility for your own relaxation, and it's a no-no. Staying loose is your responsibility; the massage therapist can help you, but you basically have to do the relaxing yourself. So how do you do that? You accomplish relaxation by becoming more aware of what you're feeling in your own body. During the massage, your massage therapist often reminds you to focus on "knots" or tight areas. In those moments, using the power of your own imagination, you can begin to visualize what those knots may look like in your muscles, and to let go of them. If you're not staying loose by engaging your mind to relax your own muscles, you're missing more than half the benefits and effects of the massage. Rate #3: Let Go When you receive a massage, especially the first time, you may have a ten- dency — like just about everyone else in the world — to "help" the person working on you. You may graciously lift your limbs, hold your head up, and twist your body around, all to make things easier for the other person. Although this "helping" may seem like the friendliest thing to do, you're actu- ally hindering the massage process and making your massage therapist's job a little more difficult. Relaxing a person who is holding her own arm up in the air as stiff as a flag pole is pretty darn hard. The technical term for this tendency during massage Is hanging on, and you want to do exactly the opposite, which is letting.go. But what, exactly, does "letting go" mean? EFTA01721216 94 Patin: The Art of Receiving Massage The limp-arm experiment You're basically hanging onto yourself for dear