EFTA01988577.pdf

To: jeevacationegmail.com[jeevacation©gmail.com]; Jeffrey Epsteinbeevacation©gmail corn] From: Sultan Bin Sulayem Sent Thur 11/17/2011 5:20:17 AM Subject: Fwd: Financial Market Fundas 1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing,. Its called the stock market - Jay Leno 2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are ?? Wall Street is now being called Wal Man Street Jay Leno 3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker . The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW 4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker ? A tie 5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left. 6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show, if you get any e mails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it - Jay Leno 7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favourite candy bar - Jay Leno 8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Obama's copy is even thicker. They had to include pictures Jay Leno 9. President Obama's response was to support some small business owners in America . The small business owners are General Motors, General Electric and Century 21. - Jay Leno 10. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my cheque is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's. NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS CEO --ChiefEmbezzlement Officer. CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry. EFTA_R1_00480470 EFTA01988577 VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER -- What my broker has made me. STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use -5- D1SCLAIMER*************** EFTA_R1_00480471 EFTA01988578 This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and contain privileged or copyright information. If you are not the intended recipient you must not copy, distribute or use this email or the information contained in it for any purpose other than to notify us of the receipt thereof. If you have received this message in error, please notify the sender immediately, and delete this email from your system. Please note that e-mails are susceptible to change.The sender shall not be liable for the improper or incomplete transmission of the information contained in this communication,nor for any delay in its receipt or damage to your system.The sender does not guarantee that this material is free from viruses or any other defects although due care has been taken to minimise the risk. ************************** NOTE: This e-mail message is subject to the Dubai World Group disclaimer see http://www.dubaiworld.ae/email disclaimer EFTA_R1_00480472 EFTA01988579