podesta-emails

Murder, She Wrote in Real Life

podesta-emails 644 words email
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experiencing a real life Murder, She Wrote here in Qatar. No one is dead (just a toaster oven) but there are so many suspects and motives. There is a small toaster oven in our office kitchen area. The toaster and the coffee pot are both 110 volts, so each must be plugged into the 220 volt transformer when in use. The transformer only has room for one at a time, so a user must check and change, as appropriate, with each and every use. This seems to be a particular frustration to the three people who typically make the coffee in the morning. TSgt Garrison is the only person that actually uses the toaster. He typically toasts his sandwich bread at lunch time. He has only been here for a month or so. Prior to his arrival the three who make coffee kept the coffee pot plugged in at all times. This morning LT Farnsworth was the first in the office and went to the kitchen to make coffee. He reports that he walked in to discover that someone had cut the cord to the toaster oven, rendering it inoperable. Next to the toaster was a pair of scissors. The part of the cord that plugs into the outlet was not found. LT Farnsworth is a reservist (i.e. he has a civilian job and only puts on the uniform one weekend a month and two weeks in the summer). He was activated and deployed here against his will and recently learned that he missed out on a promotion at his civilian job because his employer needs to fill the position immediately and will not wait for him to return. He is also a hothead--he reportedly committed a cardinal sin during predeployment training when he grew frustrated by his marksmanship and threw his rifle to the ground (very, very big no-no in military culture). Lest you believe that LT Farnsworth is the only suspect, please note that TSgt Garrison lives with TSgt Long. The two are very different and seem to truly hate one another. It is unclear, however, if TSgt Long knows that TSgt Garrison uses the toaster oven because he works in a different building. Additionally, yesterday we had a random safety inspection by the Camp As Sayliyah Fire Department. We passed, but were marked down because the toaster oven was on top of the microwave and that is a fire hazard. MSG Brown is responsible for office safety and thus was forced to take responsibility for the hazard despite the fact that she, too, works in a different building. When we were alerted to the safety violation yesterday, my paralegal decided to assist by printing a sign that read “Do not place toaster on top of the microwave. It is a fire hazard.� While well intentioned, she taped the paper sign directly on top of the toaster. This, as you may have guessed, is a fire hazard. The sign was removed and she was ridiculed. I am truly at a loss. I feel like all these episodes of Murder, She Wrote have been preparing me to solve this mystery. Any insight or help you all may provide is greatly appreciated and I'll keep you posted of any developments. -- Gabe Podesta
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