📄 Extracted Text (2,186 words)
[00:00:04] Well, here we are again and my producers
[00:00:06] have gathered a bunch of woke Tik Tok
[00:00:08] clips about ice.
[00:00:18] >> And um yeah, they're going to torture me
[00:00:20] with those right now.
[00:00:22] >> This is a tutorial on how you can waste
[00:00:24] ISIS's time. Uh, hypothetically
[00:00:26] speaking, of course, not that I've ever
[00:00:28] done this, nor would I ever because who
[00:00:30] would want to waste a government
[00:00:31] agency's time. However, hypothetically
[00:00:33] speaking, if you wanted to, uh, these
[00:00:36] are a few ways that you could that you
[00:00:37] could try it out. So, ICE has a tip line
[00:00:39] that's available on their website. It's
[00:00:41] listed right there. Uh, and you can call
[00:00:43] it 247 uh to report suspicious activity
[00:00:46] related to illegal immigration. If you
[00:00:48] manage to get an ICE officer on the
[00:00:50] phone, you can always just make up a one
[00:00:51] or two minute scenario of something that
[00:00:53] never happened that they can look into.
[00:00:55] However, if you get the voicemail, which
[00:00:58] is much more common, um I recommend
[00:01:00] leaving a wet juicy fart sound effect.
[00:01:03] This one is currently my favorite.
[00:01:10] They also have a hotline that you can
[00:01:12] text and I figured out that you can send
[00:01:15] images to the number. As you can see, I
[00:01:17] took great advantage of that and I sent
[00:01:19] them my favorite image. All of this is
[00:01:21] hypothetical. I would
[00:01:22] >> Why is that his favorite image? Why is
[00:01:23] his favorite image the image of the the
[00:01:25] female bunny from Zootopia?
[00:01:30] >> Do you really want to know?
[00:01:31] >> By the way, if you actually do falsely
[00:01:32] report a crime to police or to ICE or to
[00:01:35] law enforcement, that is a crime. So,
[00:01:37] you probably should not take that guy's
[00:01:39] advice. Also, if you think that ICE is
[00:01:41] spending any time at all listening to
[00:01:43] your wet, juicy fart noises on the line
[00:01:45] as opposed to they hear immediately what
[00:01:46] it is and just delete it,
[00:01:49] uh, you're crazy.
[00:01:50] >> This is a really amazing point.
[00:01:52] Actually, ICE is completely unaware of
[00:01:55] the fact that they have zero
[00:01:57] jurisdiction over American citizens.
[00:01:59] >> Okay, can you stop there for a second?
[00:02:00] Um, does ICE know that they have no
[00:02:02] jurisdiction over American citizens? I
[00:02:04] mean, in what capacity? If you obstruct
[00:02:05] justice, they they do in fact have
[00:02:07] jurisdiction to arrest you if you if you
[00:02:09] get in their way. So they can do that.
[00:02:11] Their main remitt is to enforce
[00:02:14] immigration law. So yes, they are that
[00:02:16] that's like saying that the police don't
[00:02:18] have jurisdiction over American citizens
[00:02:20] who are not committing crimes. Well,
[00:02:22] yes, definitionally that is not their,
[00:02:24] but they are going to have to interact
[00:02:26] with American citizens in order to
[00:02:27] determine who's committing a crime. And
[00:02:30] uh well when you consider that that's by
[00:02:32] design uh you you come to understanding
[00:02:35] >> that ice is the gestapo that wait what
[00:02:38] hey
[00:02:39] >> either this guy is so profound I
[00:02:40] misunderstand him or he's high and
[00:02:43] talking into a camera.
[00:02:44] >> I just thought of a new name for ice. We
[00:02:46] should call them theapo like the
[00:02:49] gustapo.
[00:02:50] >> Oh ice.
[00:02:51] >> Oh. Oh. Now now you said it. Oh.
[00:02:53] >> So I will be referring to them from now
[00:02:55] on asapo. My favorite part of this video
[00:02:57] is when this person explains iceapo as
[00:03:00] though it's not self-explanatory.
[00:03:04] It's It's like ice but also the gestapo.
[00:03:09] It's the iceapo.
[00:03:12] >> Oh,
[00:03:12] >> now that you I didn't get and then you
[00:03:14] explained it and now I and now I
[00:03:16] understand it.
[00:03:16] >> It's officially started. ICE is going
[00:03:18] door to door and they will specifically
[00:03:21] target a house if it has a certain race
[00:03:24] of occupants inside or if they were
[00:03:27] protesting.
[00:03:28] >> What? What? Okay, first of all, you do
[00:03:30] actually have to have a warrant if you
[00:03:31] want to search inside a house. If you
[00:03:33] have a reasonable suspicion that someone
[00:03:35] has committed a crime or there is a
[00:03:36] crime ongoing, then they can enter into
[00:03:39] an area where the crime is ongoing. The
[00:03:41] look of these people, I mean, my
[00:03:42] goodness, everyone here has what I have
[00:03:45] termed face tattoo syndrome. It's it's
[00:03:47] deliberately provocative appearance. And
[00:03:49] then if you note their deliberately
[00:03:51] provocative appearance, then they say
[00:03:52] that you're being crazy or racist or
[00:03:54] looks driven.
[00:03:55] >> And now there are videos going around
[00:03:56] that show that if you don't answer the
[00:03:58] door, they will bust it down with
[00:04:00] ramming tools and shields and rifles.
[00:04:05] >> I know what you may be thinking, but
[00:04:07] Haley, doesn't that violate the Fourth
[00:04:09] Amendment? Yes, it does. They do not
[00:04:13] care. I mean, they they do care because
[00:04:16] then you can take them to court and also
[00:04:18] any products of crime that are found
[00:04:20] during an illegal search and seizure
[00:04:22] would be ruled out under the
[00:04:24] exclusionary rule under Matt versus
[00:04:26] Ohio. So, yeah, what you're nope. But
[00:04:30] again, don't take your your legal advice
[00:04:33] from people who have white hair here and
[00:04:35] white eyebrow here and black hair here
[00:04:37] and a black eyebrow there. Don't don't
[00:04:38] do that. It's it's weird.
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[00:05:50] Get ready with me before work. I wake up
[00:05:52] around 6:00 a.m. Oh no, I hate these
[00:05:54] videos because I'm a little ashamed of
[00:05:55] what I do. But just because I can't be
[00:05:57] identified doesn't mean I don't want to
[00:05:59] smell nice. And that's it. Time for
[00:06:01] work. Just a typical day. I'm going to
[00:06:02] assault these people and handcuff this
[00:06:04] guy. Oh, that that is what ice agents
[00:06:06] do. They just walk down the street and
[00:06:07] randomly punch people who are holding
[00:06:09] coffee. And that that does sound like
[00:06:11] what an ice agent does. Also, they take
[00:06:12] weird videos of themselves in the
[00:06:14] mornings using a strange ASMR.
[00:06:17] >> Ice isn't just like the Gustapo. They're
[00:06:19] closer to slave catchers. Oh, and once
[00:06:22] that clicks, a lot of people get real
[00:06:23] uncomfortable real fast. Every time Ice
[00:06:26] comes up, someone reaches for that
[00:06:28] Gustavo comparison. And I get why they
[00:06:30] do it. raids in the middle of the night,
[00:06:32] neighbors disappearing, families gone
[00:06:34] before breakfast.
[00:06:37] That's the kind of terror that people
[00:06:39] were taught to recognize as long as it
[00:06:41] happened to people that looked like
[00:06:42] them. But that comparison is doing a
[00:06:44] whole lot of emotion that it just
[00:06:46] doesn't deserve because structurally,
[00:06:48] historically, ICE does not move like the
[00:06:51] Gustapo. They move like slave patrols.
[00:06:54] And the reason nobody wants to say that
[00:06:56] out loud is because slave patrols aren't
[00:06:58] foreign. They're not exotic. They're not
[00:07:00] evil elsewhere. They're American
[00:07:03] homegrown.
[00:07:04] >> Oh my gosh. Wow.
[00:07:07] W So they're not bad enough. They're
[00:07:09] they're not they're even worse because
[00:07:11] they're they're racist and also like the
[00:07:12] Gestapos. They're like slave patrols.
[00:07:14] Because if there's one thing that we
[00:07:15] know about about slaves, it's that they
[00:07:18] were attempting to illegally immigrate
[00:07:20] into
[00:07:21] America. They weren't brought here, you
[00:07:23] know, through force slaves. They they
[00:07:25] they tried to come here. They weren't
[00:07:26] trying to escape from parts of America.
[00:07:29] They they came here voluntarily and then
[00:07:31] were attempting to overstay their visas.
[00:07:33] That's what slaves would would do.
[00:07:34] >> Slave patrols were legal, state funded,
[00:07:37] community supported. Their job was
[00:07:39] simple. Stop people, demand proof, and
[00:07:42] decide on site who belonged and who
[00:07:46] didn't. No crime required, no trial, no
[00:07:49] explanation, just papers, accident.
[00:07:54] I mean, forget about like let's talk
[00:07:56] about what the what ICE does. There
[00:07:57] there is a due process required for
[00:07:59] deporting people. That is a thing. And
[00:08:02] again, if you don't think there's a
[00:08:03] difference between like an illegal
[00:08:04] immigrant who came to the United States
[00:08:06] presumably to make more money, send
[00:08:09] remittances back home and a slave who
[00:08:12] escaped from actual slavery in the
[00:08:14] United States and then was recaptured
[00:08:16] and put back in slavery by people
[00:08:18] working for the government. I don't even
[00:08:19] know what to tell you. This is this is
[00:08:21] insanity. It is. Uh, there's the septum
[00:08:23] ring. It never misses.
[00:08:25] >> So, what symbols are we going to start
[00:08:26] hanging on our doors to let people know
[00:08:28] it's okay and this is a safe space from
[00:08:30] ice? Because I've been trying to think
[00:08:31] of something to hang on either my porch
[00:08:35] or my window to let people know that if
[00:08:38] they need to run.
[00:08:40] Right here, baby.
[00:08:43] Cuz we're not allowed to, you know, wave
[00:08:45] people over. We're not allowed to call
[00:08:47] them like, "Hey, come over here." Um, we
[00:08:49] can obstructice to a crime. Um, and you
[00:08:52] can be arrested for that. But if
[00:08:54] somebody, you know, were to run inside
[00:08:56] your house, you don't have any
[00:08:57] obligation to help them. You just use
[00:08:59] your your fifth amendment. Just don't
[00:09:02] speak to ICE. Don't open the door. Don't
[00:09:04] speak to them. Don't say anything
[00:09:06] because they're not going to have a
[00:09:07] warrant.
[00:09:08] >> And if you say something like, "Oh,
[00:09:11] they're in here." Then you're an
[00:09:13] accessory to their crime.
[00:09:14] >> I have the symbol. The symbol should
[00:09:15] just be a nose with a septum ring in it.
[00:09:17] Just put on a flag outside. It's just a
[00:09:18] nose with a septum ring. So, how are we
[00:09:20] going to let these people know if you
[00:09:22] need to run,
[00:09:24] I'm right here?
[00:09:25] >> Apparently, she said she wanted to put a
[00:09:26] Mexican flag on her on her porch, but it
[00:09:28] might be too obvious. Also a little
[00:09:30] racist.
[00:09:32] Mexican flag. There a lot of Mexican
[00:09:34] Americans who are legal citizens of the
[00:09:36] United States. In fact, right now,
[00:09:38] people who tend to be overstaying their
[00:09:39] visas are are not from Mexico.
[00:09:41] >> Uh, you know what? He just left.
[00:09:44] >> We're talking about ICE. What does ICE
[00:09:46] stand for? Immigration
[00:09:48] um control,
[00:09:50] >> immigration and customs enforcement.
[00:09:53] Okay.
[00:09:54] >> Is ICE above THE LAW?
[00:09:56] >> NO.
[00:09:58] >> NO. NO ONE is above the law. And if they
[00:10:00] break it, they should be held
[00:10:01] accountable just like any of y'all,
[00:10:04] right?
[00:10:05] >> Can ICE lie to you?
[00:10:07] >> Yes.
[00:10:09] >> Yes. Yes, they can and they absolutely
[00:10:12] will. They'll also try and bait you into
[00:10:14] saying or doing something that'll get
[00:10:16] you in trouble. Don't take the bait. Can
[00:10:19] eyes profile you?
[00:10:20] >> No.
[00:10:22] >> Yes.
[00:10:22] >> Yes.
[00:10:23] >> Yes.
[00:10:24] >> Most definitely.
[00:10:24] >> Yes, they can.
[00:10:26] >> Eyes can judge and target you based off
[00:10:29] the color of your skin, the language
[00:10:31] that you speak, or the job that you
[00:10:33] work.
[00:10:33] >> Well, no. It's it's a combination of of
[00:10:35] a variety of factors that lead to a
[00:10:37] reasonable suspicion you might be an
[00:10:38] illegal immigrant. They can't just look
[00:10:39] at you, say you're brown, and then
[00:10:40] arrest you. That's not that's not a
[00:10:41] thing. Please, dude. You're barely even
[00:10:43] proud.
[00:10:44] >> Again, this is, I assume, part of one of
[00:10:46] these educational programs designed to
[00:10:47] help you obstruct ICE in the pursuit of
[00:10:49] their of their job, which only makes
[00:10:50] things more violent, of course.
[00:10:51] >> Do y'all remember this card from the
[00:10:52] beginning of the year?
[00:10:53] >> Yeah.
[00:10:54] >> Yeah. These are your rights. Do not open
[00:10:56] the door. Stranger danger 101. Don't
[00:10:59] answer any questions. You have the right
[00:11:02] to be silent, so be silent.
[00:11:05] >> What he's saying is not legally wrong.
[00:11:07] It's just what why the incredible desire
[00:11:10] to obstruct law enforcement from doing
[00:11:11] their job. It's it's kind of an amazing
[00:11:13] thing. All righty. So, as you can see,
[00:11:15] we have bred an enormous number of
[00:11:16] people in the United States who have no
[00:11:18] historical context for the things that
[00:11:20] they say, who don't know what ICE
[00:11:21] actually does or what it stands for, and
[00:11:23] who make lots of Gestapo and slave
[00:11:25] patrol comparisons without any sort of
[00:11:27] actual knowledge. So, great. Well done,
[00:11:29] Tik Tok, as usual.
[00:11:34] upside down.
[00:11:37] Boy, you turned me inside out.
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